WEDDING UPDATE | All the goss on how we've been planning

Monday, January 27, 2020




In the past 7 years together, Scott and I have conquered a lot. We’ve done long distance, moved cities, survived dating through university, gone from school kids to actual functional adults (who still like each other!), started side hustles, bought property and travelled the world.

So planning a wedding together should be easy!

Or at least, that’s what I thought.

No, I wouldn’t say ‘easy’,  although, as two high-functioning, organised adults we both lend well to the challenge of planning the biggest and most important day of our lives. It may be a challenge, but spreadsheets, ticking off to-do lists and conquering all things DIY is exactly how we like to spend our down time.

And so, I feel qualified to pass on what we’ve learnt so far. That way, next time your friends ask you how the wedding planning is going, you can tell them it’s good, and actually mean it.


STAYING ON TOP OF THINGS

When we first got engaged we had a ‘date night’ which involved writing down every single tiny thing we could think of that would need to get done before the big day. Down to the finest details, we laid it all out.

Then, we broke it down. To avoid getting overwhelmed, we split the list up into manageable pieces and set deadlines for each task. Considering we had almost 2 years to get everything done, breaking it down like this meant that we had a plan and clear timeline that we could chip away at each month.

We arranged the list strategically, so the big and most important things were ticked off first, but also in a way that meant we’d get to relax in-between tasks and not take on too much at once.

We also scattered the best stuff (like picking bridesmaid dresses and flower market research) so that we’d stay motivated throughout the process. Things like researching toilets and the logistics of parking were always countered with something way more fun!

We then made a big spreadsheet so that we could both stay across things as we chipped away. It’s been our go-to guide because we can see any updates the other puts in and add things whenever inspiration strikes!


SHARING THE LOAD

For any couple, figuring out a way to ensure one partner isn’t burdened by planning the entire wedding is a tricky one to navigate.

For us, feeling like we’re in this together is less about who’s done what and more about both of us doing as much as we can. For the most part, this just means playing to our strengths!

I’m way better at coming up with a vision of what we want, but Scott will research all the options for bringing it to life. I’ll manage correspondence with vendors, book appointments and take care of the schedule but Scott will often be the one doing practical tasks (like putting up festoon lights!).

Whenever we get to a new task, although we don’t always discuss it, whoever is the better fit for the job generally puts it on their list. There’s no point making Scott choose flower arrangements when it’s just not his thing! Or getting me to build timber signs out of palettes when he can do it twice as fast (and enjoy the process).

It’s important to recognise each other when something does get done, and be grateful no matter how small the task.

Being able to respect wherever the other might be at is also important. We both aren’t magically in wedding planning mood at the same time, but if I need to chat through a wild idea with Scott when he’d rather be binge watching New Girl, he listens all the same.
And I often fall asleep (or at least try) to the sound of his fingers tapping away at the keyboard until midnight when he’s almost found the perfect celebrant to help us say ‘I do’!

BUDGETING

Ahh the budget! Getting on the same page about this from the start is crucial, but knowing how you both want to allocate that money is also important. We discussed a ballpark figure when we first started planning but given this is our first (and hopefully last!) wedding, we were open to the fact that we needed to give things a little wiggle room.
We chose an amount we were happy (and able!) to spend and broke it down bit by bit so we had an idea of where we’d spend it.

We booked the big and most important things first (like food!), that way if there were any surprises we could grab budget from the less important things.

While our wedding day is important to us, we’ve got a lot of other goals and things we want to put our money into once we’re married, so keeping the budget modest has been important. 

Things like decorations, invitations and flowers are less important to us so we’re either keeping it simple or doing a bit of DIY to save costs. We love the idea of putting in a little extra effort to make these things happen, just like we did for our engagement party (which you can read about here).

We’re doing our best to keep things in perspective as well and not get caught up in the Pinterest fantasy land where our wedding could easily live! Doing things like photo prints (which cost 5 cents each) and handing them out at Christmas saved us heaps for the invitations and buying all our candles second hand from previous weddings was a great way to re-use and cut costs!

I’ve also learnt the art of negotiating and being transparent about our budget with vendors. Sometimes our favourite has been just out of reach and explaining this means we can come to an agreement that works for us both!

GETTING IT DONE

The hard part for us hasn’t been an inability to agree on napkin colours or how much to spend on the dress. The real challenge is dedicating time to planning, especially when our lives are already quite full.

I don’t even want to imagine how many hours we’ve spent on planning so far, and if we’re having a busy week, we definitely feel the strain.

Looking at our calendars in advance and actually locking down time for planning has really helped us manage this. If we only have one Saturday free during the month, I’ll make sure to lock down some wedding planning time that day and create a realistic list of what we can do. Making the most of the time we do have is also important, so when the wedding planning light is on, its on 100%.

I’m also lucky to have the luxury of flexible working hours and the ability to do things like reply to vendors, take personal calls or even do dress fittings when it’s easy and convenient, which is often during regular working hours. 
This really takes the burden off, because I am not restricted by a 9-5 job that means all the planning is reserved for weeknights and weekends when vendors are at their busiest.

If I didn’t have this luxury, I’d definitely consider outsourcing more of the planning or we’d be doing things way, way more simply. 

So definitely consider this when you begin your planning journey, it’s meant to be a fun and exciting process, so if you need to ask for a bit of help, book a venue that does it all or drop a few of the DIY tasks to keep it that way, that’s ok.


With just over 9 months to go and as we head into the busier end of our wedding planning life, I am sure there will be a lot more to talk about come November 2020! However, as my most requested blog post topic, I hope you enjoyed this little update on how our planning has been so far!

Oh and if you’ve got any tips for us, please throw them our way in the comments. We may have our shit together(ish), but believe me when I say, we can use all the help we can get!

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